My twin brother welcomed a new decade last month. A comparatively small gathering in the back yard of his Los Gatos home, celebrated with good food, champagne, conversation, and cake. Reflecting the current time-warp in this Covid world, the evening seemed to move slowly and swiftly at once. When seemingly suddenly, his wife lit the candles 6 and 0, I hadn’t thought of a wish. I blew without one.
Although my attention span seems compromised these days, my three-hour return drive the next morning provided time to ruminate: What would have been my wish? For the year? For the decade? (What was I talking about again?)
Inching closer to the Age of Elder, prudence directs me to seek some kind of Security — Social and otherwise. Each of my siblings owns real estate, proving to be a sound investment. Should I consider home ownership? Something with tangible value? An asset that can house me and a live-in singing male nurse, if necessary?!
I’ve been renting for years, and rentals have their challenges. Monthly payments support the investment of another. They hinder you from doing what you want — like painting the walls a combination of lipstick red, zucchini green, and tomalley yellow. Rentals discourage installing a bidet, and a steam room, or building a greenhouse for tomato…or marijuana plants.
On the other hand, there is sweet freedom in renting. Any problem, is no problem! Most importantly, there is no long-term obligation. Therein lies the main attraction.
In my life, besides family and forever friendships, my only commitment was to one thing: true love…Tom Epps.
Since his transition, my twin has noted, “You’re committed to being non-committal.”
In a recent conversation with my niece on her birthday she asked, “Do you ever get lonely? Most people don’t like to be alone. They’re afraid of sitting too close to their feelings.”
I answered, “I like being with myself. Without fear.” (Interesting note on emotions. What about you?)
She probed, “Yeah, but you’re always on the move. Don’t you miss the stability of being at home?”
I paused to ponder. “Home to me, is not a house,” I said. “Travel is my comfort zone, my inner hOme.”
We hung up and I realized my answer: I’m not ready to own…a house.
And for a birthday wish: May the planet heal. Then may I fly free to visit, explore, learn, and spread a pandemic of some lovin’ kindness.
“On the road again
Goin’ places that I’ve never been
Seein’ things that I may never see again
And I can’t wait to get on the road again.” – Willie Nelson
(There are images to include but the Add Media button is inoperative to me…for now. I’ll work on it…:)
Good gods. Usually, it takes time to conceive and attempt to write something of interest or humor. Admittedly, this post was written on the very day of its self-imposed deadline, the first Wednesday, hump day, of the month. It feels weird. Next month, I’ll try to bring some sunshine to sixty! And please Universe, let us all be able to move and mingle and be together soon…(then I can bring back the travel to travelbeing)!