The owner of the rental texts that it is available again. I decide to stay longer and move from the hotel back to the apartment. The house code, the names of local merchants, the novel card and bookstore…are familiar to me and after weeks on the move, it’s like returning ‘home’ again.

Brunel,,
SS Great Britain

Two names often repeated here are Brunel and Banksy. Brunel’s feats of design are evident in his Suspension Bridge, the “SS Great Britain”, and Bristol Temple Meads train station.

Banksy, “The Naked Man”

Banksy, “Girl with Balloon”

Banksy’s murals catch you by surprise. A corner turn, a glance upward. I bought a compelling postcard before I knew Banksy was the artist, and before the original self-destructed at a Sotheby’s auction recently. Bristol’s native son has elevated street art to an artistic stratosphere.

Speaking of spheres, Bristol’s science center is called, “We The Curious”. At the entrance door is a sign promoting an evening show of deep space at the Planetarium. I get the last ticket.  Leaning back in our seats and looking to the dome ceiling wearing 3D glasses, our narrator and astronomer, Lee, guides us to outer galaxies. We zoom and hold, suspending in space as he discusses the planet in front of us. “Saturn is incomprehensibly large — 800 Earths can fit inside. The rings are made of debris — rocks and airborne matter.” As to the matter of Time he reminds us,

Inside the Planetarium,
We The Curious

‘Close encounter’
Saturn ring

“When we look at the night sky, we look into the past.”

At the end of our stellar travel, Lee invites questions; I was the only one to stay. “There are two things I’m curious about, Lee. One: with the infiniteness of the Universe, do we really believe that we are the only sentient beings in existence, or is that man’s ego run amok?” He answers, “From what we know sustains life, other galaxies, planets – have too much debris, extreme temperatures, and violent conditions that eliminate seventy percent of possible life conditions. Then the lack of water, light, gravity, and photosynthesis add to that percentage, limiting life as we know it. There may be bacteria or such that can survive, but as we know ourselves, it’s limited.” Then he went all quantum on me until I redirected him to my other concern (always) on my mind.

“Einstein says that energy cannot be destroyed, only recreated. If we are as you say stardust, might we not transform at death into soul matter or something?” (In other words, Where is Everybody?! Where are our Loves?) Lee doesn’t address the soul. “Matter, yes. Matter is converted. Back to Earth as regrowth. But I deal in physics and mathematics, not afterlife.” I probe. “If the Universe created us, wouldn’t it want to communicate with us?” He diplomatically answers, “That’s one way of looking at it. Again, I deal in math and physics. The Universe doesn’t care about us. It just Is.” (Now you’re being a real buzzkill, Lee.) We speak different languages. His of fact, mine of hope. I can’t let go… “But Lee, if it were all just math and physics, why would we have evolved with conscious thought? To help the Universe understand itself? Can that be part of the narrative?” He suggested I read “The Cosmos”, by Carl Sagan. And to write a good review on Trip Advisor.

When Carl Sagan brought the Cosmos to public television back in the 80’s, he looked more like a long dark-haired groovin’ hippie than an astrophysicist. His affable manner and deep voice beckoned from beyond and he spoke like a cosmological poet. Back at the apartment, I revisit some of his writings. The more I read, the more I heed. Good God. He makes sense of our planetary ball of confusion: “The notion that science and spirituality are somehow mutually exclusive does a disservice to both. The cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff. We are a way for the universe to know itself.”  I ponder….it’s not about hope. Our loves are not living an afterlife “out there”. They are “in here”. I’ve heard and read this a bazillion times…but this Time, this night… the Truth has set me free. Kinda.

Onward, away from city lights – I want to see some starry nights…

“And the time will come when you see we’re all one
And life flows on within you and without you.” –  The Beatles